Reconfiguring a New Way of Being

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My last post was done on April 10.  I have not done much of anything in the last three months.  I do the minimum to keep my plants alive and my living space reasonably clean.  I cook a little to keep from getting hungry.  I have thousands of unread emails.  In the past, even if in pain I would do some basic movements to keep my body from jamming up.  Would read a book or two to keep my brain fluid.  These past three or four months, I have been feeling broken:  mind, body and soul.  Nothing seems to add up.  Lost a sense of myself?

For those of you who have read my previous posts, you would have figured out that my childhood wasn’t exactly peachy.  I thought I worked pretty hard in building something better, but a series of events indicated my efforts came to naught? Today I went for a walk, stopping at the many benches to cope with my pain and lack of stamina.  I was also constantly praying to Allah, asking a way out of this mush that seems to envelop me.

I know this post is vague, but I am unable to share details that will break privacy.  I feel very hurt by what happened and frustrated at my inability to figure out how everything had come about.  Today I decided there is no need to figure things out, suffice to accept that I have done my best; whatever I did was truly out of love and care.  May Allah forgive me my shortcomings and shower me with self compassion.  As I configure a new way of being, may I remain loving and caring.  I give up judgements and expectations and with redha and humility, place them in Allah’s wisdom.  All I can do is take one step at a time and move forward.  


I am glad I am able to put some words together.  I would like to restart by asking for some feedback.  According to blogger, my blog distilledmoment.com, has been viewed 7755 times as of July 26,  2022.  I had to take off the comment section because there were too many irrelevant comments.  I am at the point of deciding if I should continue writing.  Please email me some feedback through this address: distilledmoment@gmail.com.  Is my writing helpful in any way to you?  



Websites: www.distilledmoment.com

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Email.    : distilledmoment@gmail.com

Instagram username : halijah.mohd

Twitter handle: @distilledmoment


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